no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
