Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
