You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The best revenge is premature balding
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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