Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
