He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
