Small penises have feelings too.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just puked most of my soul out..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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