Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
