it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
