he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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