Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
