Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
