its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
