Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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