Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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