what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
