piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize