if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
