No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize