Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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