as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
