Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
