I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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