please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
