Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
