He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
