God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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