Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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