I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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