The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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