I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
