Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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