Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
