I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I got chris browned last night
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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