it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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