Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
