sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He kissed a someone with a penis
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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