i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
