She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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