By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
