Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
