Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
