if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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