yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
