someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
