it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
