Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
