I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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