why didn't you poke me back
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
