Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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