If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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