She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
