Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
