so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
