So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
