oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
