I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
