Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
