I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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